My Life is Over, I Want my dad to Die, Most Important Changes of my Life

Hey guys, I have more to say than really can be said. Right now I’m sitting in a hotel room with my mom and I spent last night on Sam’s bedroom floor at sobbing my eyes out. But I will catch you up on the past few days... when things were still good.
I went shopping with Steph ant it was AMAZING! Shopping completes the gay boys soul... at least this one. I spent $144.66, which is about what i wanted to. I got a Lady Gaga bracelet, some epically Gaga-ish sun glasses, a Lady Gaga shirt, 2 graphic tees, two V-necks tees, 2 pair of pants and a couple pins, none of the 2 stick men holding hands and then one that says " lets get one thing straight, I'm not." It was such a good time and I couldn’t have been happier, except if i was able to spend more money.

The sleepover at my house was fun, although one unnamed guest was a TOTAL buzz kill and caused a lot of problems for all of us. But overall i still had a very good time

I did not go the rave, because it cost $20, and I’m broke, and I was too tired for the after parties...

My friends grad party was awesome! I got wasted and had a great time with everyone there! John was there and really cute and i met a few other people who are pretty cool.

During all of that I had a days long epic fight with IttyK. We are okay now, but i was sure our friendship was gonna be over.. I have so much to say on this, but i have so much worse shit going on in my life.


OK, SO HERE IS THE BIG PART. THE OTHER DAY I WENT TO PLAY BASEBALL WITH MY NEIGHBORS AND HAD ABOUT THE BEST TIME EVER, ESPICALLY WITH LUIS THERE. WHILE I WAS GONE MY DAD DECIDED TO FIX THE LEAKY SHOWER IN THE BATHROOM. TO DO SO HE HA TO SHUT OFF THE WATER AND ENDED UP BREAKING A VALVE AND CUT UP HIS HAND AND SHIT. HE NEVER CALLED ANYONE, SO WHEN MY MOM CALLED HIM TO CHECK IN SHE ENDED UP NEEDING TO CALL A PLUMBER.
THE WHOLE THING STRESSED HIM OUT AND AS I PREDICTED, HE STARTED DRINKING AGAIN. MY MOM WAS MADDER AT HIM THEN EVER, AND WAS PLANING ON LEAVING FOR THE NIGHT. LAST NIGHT I DECIDED TO SLEEP OVER AT A FRIENDS CUZ I DIDNT WANNA DEAL WITH EVERYTHING, AND BEFORE WE WENT NIGHT SWIMMING AT JORDANS. HE HAS A NICE BODY.
THIS MORNING I CAME HOME AND BASICALLY JUST WALKED AROUND CUZ MY MOM WAS IN MY ROOM NAPING. MY DAD GOT UP AND WAS EATING. HE WAS LEAVING THE PLACE A MESS AND LEAVING STUFF OPEN. SO I WENT INTO THE KITCHEN AND WAS CLOSING STUFF. IT WAS GETTING HARDER TO BREATH AND I WAS GETTING MORE AND MORE AND MORE PISSED AND SLAMED THE PANTRY DOOR.
HE TURNS TO ME AND COMES AT ME AND WAS LIKE "DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM?" AND IM LIKE SOBBING AND IM LIKE "YEAH, I DONT WANNA DO THIS AGAIN!" AND WE KEEP SHOUTING AND HES COMING AT ME AND GETTING IN MY FACE AND I DONT REMEMBER THE WHOLE CONTENT BUT I WAS LIKE, "I SHOULD KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING LUNITIC!" AND HES LIKE "PLEASE! DO ME THE FAVOR!" AND TAKES A SWING AT ME THAT I DODGE AND I GRAB SHIT INCASE I HAVE TO FIGHT HIM, JUMP OVER THE COUCH AND RUN OUTSIDE. HE LOCKS ME OUT AND IM FREAKING SO I CALL 911. THE COPS SHOWED UP AND GOT IN THE HOUSE AND START TALKING TO HIM AND AT ONE POINT HE CALLS ME A 'WORTHLESS UNGRATEFUL SHIT-HEAD" AND SAYS HE COULD KICK THE COPS ASSES. I WAKE UP MOM AND SHES READY TO KILL HIM AND FLIPS OUT.

SO NOW WERE GONNA STAY AT A HOTELK AND SOMETIME THIS WEEK WE'LL GO GET ALL OUR STUFF OUT OF THE HOUSE AND MOVE INTO AN APPARTMENT. IM ALSO THINKING ABOUT GETTING ONE OF MY OWN WITH A FRIEND, OR MOVING BACK TO UTAH TO STAY WITH MY GOD MOTHER.
MOM THINKS MY DAD WILL KILL HIMSELF, BUT IM NOT THAT HOPEFUL... IF THINGS WERE TO BE IDEAL HE WOULD DIE AND WE WILL GET LIFE INSURANCE, BUT IM GUESSING HE DOESNT HAVE THE BALLS TO KILL HIMSELF, BUT HERRE IS NOTHING I'D LIKE MORE.

that’s about it I guess. I'll keep you posted on everything though... love you all.
~Anton