Tuesday, August 31, 2010

10 Days Later...

HELLOOOOO!!!! I wish I could have posted earlier, because I have had a lot to tell. But last week my $1500 computer crashed, I don't have the money to get it fixed, I don't post on the downstairs in case may parents find a link that I would forget to erase to my blog, and I hate using our old laptop... but I needed to post, cuz I feel bad for waiting so long to do so.

The big news: COLLEGE STARTED!!! I like it quite a lot, even though I am stuck with my bitch friend for way too much of it. But she is tolerable and I have 2 amazing professors. The others are okay or crappy, but these 2 make it all worth it. And I like only having classes 4 days a week.

I started a great book called The Hunger Games. Read it! Its great! there are 3 in the series I think.

Jessica's parents who had originally stoped her from moving to Las Crucas for college changed their minds, which is good for her, but a bit sad for me. So now its mostly me Jordan and Sam, but I don't really see them tooo much anymore, which sucks. But its ok, cuz we are still close.

I haven't met a lot of cool new people yet, but I'm working on it. I was quite sick on Thursday and really anti-social in all my classes. But I'm feeling a lot better now!!

Tomorrow I am going to the Queer Straight Alliance meeting with Steph, and I'm excited to meet some potential gay boys there, and they have free food! After that we are gonna go check out a gay club, which I'm even more excited for!

I don't have so much to say right now, cuz I just wanted to catch you all up, but I'll start posting on the laptop, even though I don't like it.


Friday, August 20, 2010

Opening the New Chapter

So things are good! My dad still isn't back from detox and I LOVE not having that piece of shit around. My BFF is getting back from Sweden tomorrow, so I can text her again. I have been seeing Ethan quite a bit, and I hung out with Ben this past week. My friend who moved away for college is back in town this weekend and tomorrow we are gonna celebrate hers and Jordan's birthdays at Olive Garden, hopefully... Its not well planned.haha.

Tomorrow I'm gonna go shopping for school things and the day after I have a freshman thing at UNM and I will hopefully go get my books for my classes. To pay for them I am getting $600 from my godmother and about $300 from my mom, so together I should have a couple hundred more than I need so I will have some spending cash!!! :)

Today I went to a thing at UNM with one of my favorite people ever and I got a ton of free stuff and some good food. It was a blast!

I don't have much more to say, so here are a couple music videos, i guess. :P

Despite what a lot of you think, I LOVE him, here is Adam being fucking gorgeous and awesome.

And I love the 'fuck you' message in this song, yet it comes across as sweet. And Sara Bareilles is absolutely gorgeous and talented.

That's about it. At least as far as big news goes... go FORMSPRING ME!!! haha, or not...

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Blood on the Walls

Hello! So I'm back from taking a break. Life has been chaotic between friends and family stuff.
I haven't been up to too much out to the ordinary myself... I have just been seeing my friends or hanging out at home. One of my friends moved yesterday because she is going to NMSU which is only 4 hours away, but its still sad.
An odd thing happened yesterday. As I was walking gown our stairs I noticed a considerable about of dried blood on the wall. I know it hadn't been there that morning, and I was the only one home for most the day. It was very strange, and it was at different heights on the wall as well...
My dad has been in detox the past 4 days, and has not been missed at all. He can rot in there for all I care. My apathy has greatly annoyed my mom, who still won't take any responsibility for her actions. I am continuing to look for a job and a place to live.
As far as my drinking which was greatly concerned in the last post... I do not think it is excessive, I know I can stop, and I am stopping before school starts anyways. I knew the 2 or so weeks between when I returned from Utah and when people started leaving for college would be a bit crazy... but I have the situation well under control and I am going to stop so I can focus on school, which starts in a week from today.
I am very excited for school... It should be a great experience.
Love you all

Saturday, August 7, 2010


FUCK! Well this weekend was total shit. This is gonna be a not so friendly bitchy rant post too. I'm PISSED! and I decided I don't swear enough on here because I swear a lot in real life.

So Thursday things went to hell for Jess who's dad found her pot stash. Shes not in huge trouble, but she killed her trust with him and isn't allowed out of the house too much. That night was fine. The rest of us just watched movies and whatever. Friday morning we all met up to go to the amusement park, and that went fine too. We got tired of the park and really hot so we headed to Jordan's house for our weekend long party that we have been planning forever. I was super excited because John was coming, and I have never partied with him before. There was about 15 of us there, maybe 10 drinking, and it was all pretty normal and relaxed. John, however was taking shots like every round when most of us were only doing 1/2 or 3/4 of the rounds everyone was taking. I was pretty much keeping pace with him and I wasn't really fucked up or anything cuz I'm a heavyweight. John said it took him like 12 to get pretty fucked up, and we both made it to 10, which no one would have let John get to if anyone was paying attention. Well, apparently John is a much lighter weight than he thought and he got TOTALLY SHIT-FACED!
He stared of being normal funny drunk or whatever, and we were kinda cuddled up on the couch watching shark week and it was really nice and whatever. Then he was just getting reckless, and ended up getting in the fucking pool. A couple people were already in there, but there was the shallow end/swimming buddy/only if you are 'tipsy' rule, but John was too fucked up to care. So Bri and I get in with him and are baby sitting him trying to get him slowly to the stairs, but he is a mess and yeah. Oh, and before he got to his worse point and we were in there fucking Madison (who I LOATHE) convinced me and John to make out a bit, and I was not thinking, but then I finally figured out it was wrong. Then eventually John tries to take off my swimming trunks and so I stop him and hes like "Oh, I'm sorry" and whatever and stops. so eventually he kinda starts freaking out and Jordan comes out and we get him out and Jordan talks to him and I* stay on pool duty in case he gets back in cuz I'm coherent enough to do so.
He starts throwing up a bit so we get a bag and move him into the bathroom. He is still freaking out and crying and confessing things he never normally would. So we get him over the toilet and this mother fucker starts like passing out on us and is totally non responsive and were slapping him and splashing water on him to wake him up. No one is nearly as bad as he is, and Bri Sam Jordan and I are taking turns taking are of him, helping him throw up, and feeding him bread and giving him water and what not for 2 1/2 fucking hours and the dumb ass is still not fully functioning.
THEN his fucking curfew rolls around and him moms like "HOME! NOW!" so we're like oh fuck and then shes like "get your ass home or I'm calling the cops up there" so we start panicking a little and text her back that hes on his way. So we get him clothed cuz he was swimming in his underwear and Jordan and I frog-march him home with some others as look outs. His little brother was texting us from inside and was incredibly helpful. So Jordan and I take him in and he still cant walk all that well and his moms yelling down the top of the stairs and sends his brother down and then we hear "Get those boys out of here, your dad's waking up and they don't want to be here for that" so Jordan and I book it out of there back to his house where the others are hiding all the evidence of ANYTHING illegal, and doing a damn good job of it.
We get our cover story together and its really good and whatever, so I text Brittany and tell her what to say if John or Jordan's moms ask anything which is totally not incriminating and super easy and she is all like "Well I don't really want to and as forewarning I will tell the truth if I'm asked" and we are like you fucking bitch, I know there might be some trouble involved, but we wouldn't think twice about helping you out if you needed it, way to be an awesome friend. But no cops are called or anything and we look scott free, so we go to bed.
In the morning Jordan gives him mom the cover story and whatever and we clean up and get ready for tonight. Brittany's little brother tells us her boyfriend, who none of us really like is planning to come over. Without Jordan's permission. So he texts her and is like "Its cool if Nathan comes over, but it would be awesome if you could ask me first" and shes all like " well its your brothers house too, and you guys seem to have a problem hanging out with Nathan, so I have a problem hanging out with all of you" so we are all fuck no,, and Jordan and her get into a big text argument and she is being an irrational bitch who is obviously brain washed by her boy friend. TRUST ME, I looked at this objective. So shes kinda on the outs, but in a couple days I'm gonna try to make peace with her cuz we have a ton of classes together and I feel like I need to for that fact, but not really any other. I'm PISSED at her dumb ass. But anyways, mid-day Jordan gets a call from his mom who had just talked to Johns mom and got the story from her and she is PISSED!! So we are all supposed to go home and Jordan is in DEEP SHIT. But some of us stay anyways and help him out and just vent with him and hang out. Then I take the others who are still left to their cars, call Jess (who has also upset most of us, but I'll perhaps share that story another day) and then I head home.
So out of our group, 2 are moving to another city for college, one is a total bitch, ones in super deep shit, and then 2 of us are whatever. This is not how its supposed to be!!!! I'm starting a search for new friends in college though, so we'll see how that goes.

Before I left for that adventure I found a cooler of beers that belongs to my dad. I FUCKING HATE THAT WORTHLESS FUCKING FUCKTARD!!!!!! I TOLD MY MOM TO NOT GO BACK TO HIS DUMB ASS AND LOOK WHATS HAPPENED OVER THE PAST 2 MONTHS!!! I FUCKING HATE BOTH MY PATENTS!!!!!!!! At least my moms not drinking and my dads hopefully going to detox again tomorrow. I told him this was the one warning they would get and then after that I'm gone forever, and I have talked to my mom about it today too. If he stars again after this detox trip either him or I are gonna leave and IDK where I will go, but it wont be this shit hole. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!!!!! UGH!

So yeah, that's whats up.... I may have forgot something, and I'll post it later if I did but I'm fucking tired and pissed and I'm gonna take a couple shots and watch Pirates of the Caribbean and have a good time./ Don't worry about the alcohol, I'm just stressed as FUCK!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Hottest Man in Existance

Adam Lambert is probably the most vocally talented artists out there right now. Well... in my opinion. His concert was defiantly one of the best I have ever seen. I could totally go to a few more of them and not complain one bit. I had a surprisingly hard time finding a friend to take however. Everyone who wanted to go was busy and the rest wouldn't go with me. But I finally got one of my friends I haven't seen in like forever to agree to go, and she was a lot of fun. By far the biggest disappointment of the evening was the fact that John really wanted to come, but couldn't because of work. Once we got in the theater my parents went to the balcony and my friend and I went went down to the floor. We got a fantastic spot, 15 or 20 feet from the stage.
Allison Iraheta, who was one on my favorites from the same season of American Idol that Adam was on opened, and she was AMAZING! i loved her cover of Heart breaker too. She really connected with the audience and she is so talented. It was the perfect opening for him.
We pushed our way up a bit more before Adam came out, nearly to the front, and once he came out my mind just exploded with his hotness and amazingness. And his bass player, Tommy, and one of his dancers are REALLY hot too. His outfits were so good and all of his songs really were great. He played a lot of his lesser known ones and he sadly didn't do For Your Entertainment, but everything he did was great, especially Fever, if I Had You and Aftermath. Those two in particular were amazing. He is so sexy! And i was so close to the stage so I was just taking everything in. It was one of the best nights ever, besides John not being there. If he was I would have probably made some kind of move, which would probably be stupid, but it was Adam Lambert so I wouldn't really care. His songs would have created the perfect atmosphere and we would have been so close and it would have been perfect. There were so many adorable gay boys there and I flirted with one a bit, but mostly I just wanted John to be there.
I also got dresses up all cute and got the guy liner on and I just had a good time. I also spent $75 on a ton of his stuff. XD

Here is Adam and Tommy at the concert that I was out. HOT DAMN!!!!!

Other than that I have been seeing my friends mostly. Tomorrow some of us are going to the amusement park in Albuquerque... although its rather pathetic. Then this weekend were spending most of it at Jordan's house and that should be fun. i need to go buy books kinda soon for school, which I'm not looking forward to, but I do want school to start. It should be a lot of fun.

Love you all!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Monsters in My House

Well I'm home. Its not particularly happy for me in any case, but I'll live.
Somewhat to my surprise and disappointment both my parents were home. I though at least one of them would still be in detox, but my dad was sent home the same day because he had really low blood alcohol levels and my mom left early to go to the hospital for heart palpitations. In addition to that, there is a creepy dog in my house. He belongs to my moms friend, and her friends son was supposed to watch him, but he got arrested again, so she offered to take him. He is really creepy and pathetic. I kinda feel bad for him.

My flight back to NM was fine. My neighbors picked me up which we really nice because that means less time with my parents. Besides dinner I have been in my room unpacking most the day. Jess is coming over later to hang out and I'm really excited to see all of my friends! they have been like the only thing keeping me from moving to Utah permanently... and even so, I have a couple good friends in Salt Lake too... Including my best friend.

Tomorrow should be amazing. I'm going to an ADAM FUCKING LAMBERT CONCERT!!!!!!! He's SO fucking hot and amazing and OMFG i can't wait!!! I'm taking Jess and sadly my parents are going to but whatever... its Adam Lambert. I LOVE him!