Thursday, May 6, 2010

2 days left..

Friday and Monday... That’s it. I’m scared. I’m not ready. I'm sad. And I hate people. They suck. Well... a lot of them do.

I don’t have much hope or faith, in myself or other people, some more than others. I'm beyond disappointed with some people, like... IDK. I just don’t know anything anymore, it’s all changing and I’m not sure where it came from. School, friends, people, life... ugh. I have nearly broke down crying today for a ton of reasons. Tests, music, conversations, thinking about my crush (my neighbor), my friend... they have all nearly sent me over the edge today.
[I wrote this like 2 hours ago and since then i have been physically feeling the stress like i did before prom. I cant handle some people! I think I'm starting to cry]

I have officially decided I like my neighbor, Luis, more than John, even if he is straight. I finally decided to name him; "cute neighbor" wasn’t working. So yeah, IDK. I hate how I look. Sooo fucking ugly. hmm...

I blazed yesterday with 3 of my friends. I felt guilty about it afterwards, but it was still super fun during, especially going to the art show at my school that I made my friends go to, cuz John had a piece in there. The art was very pretty!

So the week between when I get out of school and graduation I’m gonna have a series of posts reflecting on my high school experience. I have been thinking about it a lot and it will be good for me to get my feelings out there. It may be depressing though, but I will at least do my best to not bore you with it...

Probably most people won’t like this song, but it’s angry, and how I feel right now.

Be happy, someone needs to be.


  1. It's natural to be apprehensive and emotional at this big junction in your life. Just look ahead to the future. It's the beginning of the rest of your life. And I am sure you will have a good one. Don't let your emotions overwhelm you.

  2. You are not ugly. You are very cute :) I'm sorry you're life is being a bitch.
    I love you lots!

  3. Wow, that sucks. Is there anything I can do? Do i need to beat someone up? it sounds like something is up with that song of yours? who is it for? you dont needto answer that if you dont want to. I know how you feel though, we can have friend issues together! dont be too sad, you are in similar company

  4. my emotions are definantly getting the better of me and there isnt much I can do...
    and Idk. people just suck... the song was indeed for someone, and im sure she knows who she is... whatever.

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