Thursday, May 6, 2010

2 days left..

Friday and Monday... That’s it. I’m scared. I’m not ready. I'm sad. And I hate people. They suck. Well... a lot of them do.

I don’t have much hope or faith, in myself or other people, some more than others. I'm beyond disappointed with some people, like... IDK. I just don’t know anything anymore, it’s all changing and I’m not sure where it came from. School, friends, people, life... ugh. I have nearly broke down crying today for a ton of reasons. Tests, music, conversations, thinking about my crush (my neighbor), my friend... they have all nearly sent me over the edge today.
[I wrote this like 2 hours ago and since then i have been physically feeling the stress like i did before prom. I cant handle some people! I think I'm starting to cry]

I have officially decided I like my neighbor, Luis, more than John, even if he is straight. I finally decided to name him; "cute neighbor" wasn’t working. So yeah, IDK. I hate how I look. Sooo fucking ugly. hmm...

I blazed yesterday with 3 of my friends. I felt guilty about it afterwards, but it was still super fun during, especially going to the art show at my school that I made my friends go to, cuz John had a piece in there. The art was very pretty!

So the week between when I get out of school and graduation I’m gonna have a series of posts reflecting on my high school experience. I have been thinking about it a lot and it will be good for me to get my feelings out there. It may be depressing though, but I will at least do my best to not bore you with it...

Probably most people won’t like this song, but it’s angry, and how I feel right now.



Be happy, someone needs to be.
~Anton

5 comments:

  1. It's natural to be apprehensive and emotional at this big junction in your life. Just look ahead to the future. It's the beginning of the rest of your life. And I am sure you will have a good one. Don't let your emotions overwhelm you.

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  2. You are not ugly. You are very cute :) I'm sorry you're life is being a bitch.
    I love you lots!
    ittyK

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  3. Wow, that sucks. Is there anything I can do? Do i need to beat someone up? it sounds like something is up with that song of yours? who is it for? you dont needto answer that if you dont want to. I know how you feel though, we can have friend issues together! dont be too sad, you are in similar company

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  4. my emotions are definantly getting the better of me and there isnt much I can do...
    and Idk. people just suck... the song was indeed for someone, and im sure she knows who she is... whatever.

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