Friday, June 11, 2010

The Return Home

This is my first post in nearly 2 weeks that I have been able to do from my desktop in my room. It has been hell using my outdated laptop for my Internet life.
I have yet to encounter either parent. My dad has been back at work and is still detoxing. One of my conditions of me coming home is that he is either 100% sobered up, or stays the night in a detox facility or a hotel, and my mom has followed through on communicating that point. I have no intentions to talk to him for probably a week, besides the BARE MINIMUM and maybe a "I'm not talking to you yet." He knows he really doesn't have a shot of fixing things with me. Ideally, I'd still like him dead and gone, but hopefully leave a little life insurance.

Tomorrow I'm hopefully spending the whole day with Luis and his family, although I still gotta talk to them about the specifics. I'm giving up going to Pride just to be with him... Plus, I'm guessing Albuquerque's Pride isn't all that great...

Now I'll share with you the BEST birthday present I have ever got. I didn't post it on the laptop cuz it fails at life and I didn't want to over load it. But anyways, here is Lady Gaga's music video for Alejandro, which came out on my birthday!!

I love the social commentary of the gay soldiers that some people interpret as her message that "Don't ask don't tell" should be repealed, but I see as her calling on the gays to stand up for the rights we deserve.

Have a nice day!


  1. I'm glad you are safe at home. I hope you will be able to remain there comfortably without a lot of trauma. It's awful that you wish your dad dead and gone but I understand why you do. Ideally things would all turn around and this feeling of yours would go away. I guess that's not likely to happen. I wish you the best and I will be thinking about you.

  2. Anton... I don't blame you for considering your dad untrustworthy... there is, apparently, a lot of history that makes you feel that way... At some point, tho, even if you no longer trust him, you need to find a way to stop hating him... It's just not healthy, holding those kinds of feelings in your heart, for long periods of time... It can be corrosive to you, and, you don't need that while you're trying to start your new life as a collegian...

    I am relieved that you are now living in your own room... That's got to be a relief to you, too!! Living out of a suitcase is very difficult, and stressful, so, I'm psyched that you have put that behind you!! You have been through a lot, but, you weathered it all, and you did it without abandoning your mom, which would have been the easier route... You showed me the maturity of a fine, young man. It speaks volumes about you!! Have a good, fun weekend! You deserve it!! luv, tman<3

  3. My dad is also an alcoholic and I sometimes wish he was dead, I feel your pain bro!

  4. Hi Anton, just looking around blogland just now and seen my blog in your links, wish i knew before i would have linked you too.

    Maybe you shoulda told me you linked :P

    Never mind, i'll put you in my blog list at some point soon!