Emotional Apocalypse

Fuck. My. Life.

So I am still really frustrated with that whole situation with that friend of mine. You guys gave really good feedback. The hardest thing about that situation is the fact that she is out of the country now and it makes things even more complicated in the long run.

Then, I said less than a week ago that I was almost entirely over John. Well it turns out I’m not. Thank god he didn’t make the whole situation with my friend’s boyfriend telling him that I liked him awkward. I'm sure I was over reacting and that he disregarded it.
So anyways, I found out that on or Sunday or yesterday or something he hooked up with some guy... all of the sudden I start feeling the same way I did before Christmas. I was utterly upset and totally jealous, two things I promised myself I wouldn’t about John ever again. I thought I was done with this!!! Idk if I’m just being over emotional again or something, but I am ready to crawl in a hole and die. My emotions are becoming unbearable and I have spent all night bitching to some friends who probably don’t care all that much.

I ultimately blame my relapse to the fact that I hardly know any other gay guys at my school, and none of those that I do know I had interest in for very long, besides John of course. I go to a school with 3,200 people, so I know they are out there, I just need to find them!

I also have a friend who will most likely lose her aunt over night. I hate it when my friends are sad, it sucks! My best wishes go out to her whole family.
~Anton