Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Emotional Apocalypse

Fuck. My. Life.

So I am still really frustrated with that whole situation with that friend of mine. You guys gave really good feedback. The hardest thing about that situation is the fact that she is out of the country now and it makes things even more complicated in the long run.

Then, I said less than a week ago that I was almost entirely over John. Well it turns out I’m not. Thank god he didn’t make the whole situation with my friend’s boyfriend telling him that I liked him awkward. I'm sure I was over reacting and that he disregarded it.
So anyways, I found out that on or Sunday or yesterday or something he hooked up with some guy... all of the sudden I start feeling the same way I did before Christmas. I was utterly upset and totally jealous, two things I promised myself I wouldn’t about John ever again. I thought I was done with this!!! Idk if I’m just being over emotional again or something, but I am ready to crawl in a hole and die. My emotions are becoming unbearable and I have spent all night bitching to some friends who probably don’t care all that much.

I ultimately blame my relapse to the fact that I hardly know any other gay guys at my school, and none of those that I do know I had interest in for very long, besides John of course. I go to a school with 3,200 people, so I know they are out there, I just need to find them!

I also have a friend who will most likely lose her aunt over night. I hate it when my friends are sad, it sucks! My best wishes go out to her whole family.


  1. Sorry to hear about your friend's Aunt, losing a family member always sucks. You'll get over John, It'll just take time. As for finding another guy, I wish you all the best. I went to a school with 1100 people, and had a hard time finding a girlfriend (which I realize now might have been me and not them), so i'm sure finding another gay guy isn't easy. Keep at it and I'm sure you'll find something, as cute as you look in that picture it shouldn't be hard ;-). Just keep your chin up buddy, everything will work out fine!


  2. Man am sorry you having hell , not making light of it .. but hang in there ... it will pass , you working threw some really tuff stuff...You will make it . Being you age is hell man..feelings run all over you ... it gets better.... pulling for you .Your stronger than you think .... . Sending good wishes and healing wishes for you fiend, and her family.... Hang in there Anton
    Love Lee

  3. Ditto what Just said. Time changes things in so many good ways. Of course, it heals like you wouldn't imagine, but the lessons you learn leave you so much stronger.

    Best wishes to your friend and her family.

  4. Can't really add much to what Just said. Things do get better and you will be stronger for all this stuff.

    Don't be too hard on yourself, Anton

  5. thanks all 0f you for all that. also thanks anton for that. ... youll get over it and well best wishes to you too anton.


  6. Thanks a lot guys... this has been really hard. Im getting better, and im being more positive. im back on the lookout for potential bf's. You guys really help keep me sane!!!