Thursday, January 14, 2010

1 month - 30 posts

Hey guys! So I've been on here for a month today! It feels like its been longer. This is definitely something i enjoy doing, and i love having people read my stuff and give me feedback. =) I love you guys!

Yesterday was horrid. I continued to have my break down over John, and i ended up having a pretty bad anxiety attack in the school library. It was just after i got out of my classes and I went up there to see a friend. It was pretty emotionally crippling but more of a physical breakdown . It was AWFUL. Then I just kinda talked stuff out with my friend and felt better... well, good enough to go home. I kept getting re-depressed over John and super jealous all afternoon.
I ended up forcing myself to socialize with my parents so they wouldn't ask why i was being all sulky. Then I watched American Idol and laughed my ass off at all of the failures, even though i can't sing AT ALL. I actually felt truly happy after it. Idol heals all! lol check it out, i LOVE this guy...

Anyways, back to life. Today my happiness persisted, even when i was around John. I decided i am happy for him; which is something i never feel for someone who gets in the way of my being happy. I usually want them to be as unhappy as i am, so this is a good step. I even found out who this boy he's fucking is, and checked out his facebook profile. He's cute! Still a bit jealous, but happy!

I'm looking forward to a party with my friends tomorrow. I think i have made a turn around from last time I talked to you, so hopefully it will last...



  1. Idol makes me feel shame about the contestants, they might not feel bad but I feel bad enough for both of us :P

    Congrats on a month around, happy to read you all the time and let´s make that month a year. Good to know you´re getting over Josh, got to be strong and most importantly be happy. Still you ever need anything...


  2. Hey Anton been nice to have you around. Glad you started to blog. Yep think you make a big step with you wanted him to be happy. So hope you have some fun this weekend... You made me smile with this post. I am pulling for you. Know you still got a way to go , getting over John. But I know your stronger than you think .... 30 days congrats. Cant wait for the next 30 days man....Here to more happiness
    Love Lee...

  3. Thank yo guys so much! Love you!