Thursday, January 14, 2010

1 month - 30 posts

Hey guys! So I've been on here for a month today! It feels like its been longer. This is definitely something i enjoy doing, and i love having people read my stuff and give me feedback. =) I love you guys!

Yesterday was horrid. I continued to have my break down over John, and i ended up having a pretty bad anxiety attack in the school library. It was just after i got out of my classes and I went up there to see a friend. It was pretty emotionally crippling but more of a physical breakdown . It was AWFUL. Then I just kinda talked stuff out with my friend and felt better... well, good enough to go home. I kept getting re-depressed over John and super jealous all afternoon.
I ended up forcing myself to socialize with my parents so they wouldn't ask why i was being all sulky. Then I watched American Idol and laughed my ass off at all of the failures, even though i can't sing AT ALL. I actually felt truly happy after it. Idol heals all! lol check it out, i LOVE this guy...



Anyways, back to life. Today my happiness persisted, even when i was around John. I decided i am happy for him; which is something i never feel for someone who gets in the way of my being happy. I usually want them to be as unhappy as i am, so this is a good step. I even found out who this boy he's fucking is, and checked out his facebook profile. He's cute! Still a bit jealous, but happy!

I'm looking forward to a party with my friends tomorrow. I think i have made a turn around from last time I talked to you, so hopefully it will last...

Laters
~Anton

3 comments:

  1. Idol makes me feel shame about the contestants, they might not feel bad but I feel bad enough for both of us :P

    Congrats on a month around, happy to read you all the time and let´s make that month a year. Good to know you´re getting over Josh, got to be strong and most importantly be happy. Still you ever need anything...

    Love
    Me

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  2. Hey Anton been nice to have you around. Glad you started to blog. Yep think you make a big step with you wanted him to be happy. So hope you have some fun this weekend... You made me smile with this post. I am pulling for you. Know you still got a way to go , getting over John. But I know your stronger than you think .... 30 days congrats. Cant wait for the next 30 days man....Here to more happiness
    Love Lee...

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