Today has not been my day. I am really miserable right now. My head is racing with negative thoughts, my iPod insists on playing depressing music, and people are causing me so many problems right now.
I’m scared about the whole John thing and tomorrow we are starting the war with Peacock to get him out of the group.
Noelle (from Dark Orchid) was being obnoxious when I saw her earlier; even though most of our conversation was good... it just brought me down a bit.
IttyK is being selfish and stupid and making some decisions that are gonna hurt her and me... It actually drove me to tears earlier, which hasn’t happened in quite a while.
My mom is continually bitching me out about not finding a job, but I am sustaining my social life all on my own and she is just making me feel bad about not being ambitious. I should get one, but she is just being a bitch, and my dad backs her up.
They also blame me for losing my house key, even though I think it was stolen, because, as they know, I am super careful with everything. I can’t remember the last thing I lost. After that is the 2nd time I broke down in tears tonight. Life is completely overwhelming me today.
I also got some really disappointing news too, but it’s not even important and I won’t get into it now... but it kinda hurt after what happened yesterday, which kinda made me excited. Maybe I'll explain some other day =/ sorry, idk why I brought that up. Its making me wanna cry for a 3rd time though.
This is completely turned around from Friday. I was excited about John and the war with Peacock. I went dress shopping with my friends for prom and had a blast helping making them all look amazing. I even got a confidence boost from myself when I accidentally checked myself out in a mirror in Dillard’s and was like "Ooh! Cute gay boy!" but it was me... I know. Lame, but it felt good anyways.
We are also making friends with a cashier named Dee Dee at Taco Bell. I know... weird. But she is really cool and gives us free drinks. I’m oddly attracted to her, not in a sexual way, but just her personality. She is very intriguing. IDK.
We also finished our revised version of our Life game that we were working super hard on and got to play it.
The best part of my day was an invite from my uncle and his wife to go live with them for a while this summer in Oregon and work on her Sons State Senate campaign. It sounds awesome, but I’m not sure if I will have time.
Everything was so good on Friday, but it has all kinda been fucked up today. At least I do have a few good things going on and I will deal with it all. It’s just seems like much more bad has happened to me today then good and it sucks.
Anyways, have a good night.
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