Saturday, February 6, 2010


Ok... before i tell you all about my stupidity that has been making me feel guilty and ashamed of, I wanna thank everyone for the questions on my formspring. Keep it up =)

So anyways. The sleepovers I've been having almost every weekend with my friends aren't entirely innocent. I told you all about the bonfire a month or so ago when i first smoked hookah and drank a little. Well, since then i have smoked hookah probably 4 more times. Last weekend i smoked hookah again and drank about 4 shots of brandy. On top of that i tried pot for the 1st time. I took a few hits off one of my friends roaches. I didn't feel anything from either the alcohol or the pot though...
This Friday we had another sleepover and we didn't have pot or hookah but we got a half pint of spiced rum and a half pint of vodka. I did get quite tipsy but i didn't over do it. It actually lead to a really close bonding experience with my 3 friends that were over. I was particularly touched when they all compared me with John and said i have a better personality and I'm more attractive. I find John to have a great personality and to be very attractive, where as i don't think im good looking at all. It made me happy, even if they were a bit drunk.

Anyways, I guess my guilt comes from trying the pot, which i promised dozens of people, including myself, i wouldn't do. I also feel awful about not telling some of my friends; mostly Elsa from Atop a Lily Pad. I tell her everything and we supposedly trust each other... but I've been lying for weeks. I'm sorry.

I don't know what the future holds for my bad habits. I have 2 weeks in which i wont have any (cuz I'll be in Atlanta next weekend). Looking back at the past month, i am incredibly disappointed in myself, as I'm sure many of you are. I know I'm not that bad, i mostly feel bad about keeping secrets. I need to be honest. Anyways, i apologize for any of you that care.

Remember, formspring me!


  1. Dude..., kids experiment, it's inevitable. Don't beat yourself up too much over it. Just like you said yourself..., don't over do it. The moment you let it rule your life, it's all over. Trust me on this one, it takes a great deal of will and courage to come back after that.


  2. I second that...No harm done :)But Everything in moderation...

  3. Anton - Octavius's advice sounds good to me.
    As for secrets - we all have them - who you share them with must be your decision - promising anyone that you will share every secret with them is a bit unrealistic, because at some time or other you will have one that for some reason or other you will just not want to share - it's just human nature.
    Regards Stef.

  4. Anton - I'm with Octavius as well experimentation is almost inevitable, it's part of growth but don't let it be the thing that defines you. As for secrets, well I guess we all have some, it's often difficult to know when it's safe to say some things so we just don't say them.


  5. I just stumbled across your blog and I love it already! I read your post titled "honesty" I could feel the pain of anquish in your words.

    I just wanted to say to you that almost all guys experiment with different stuff especially while around our friends. We just want to fit in with the other guys and so we sorta just do whatever it is they're doing.

    I've smoked pot one time. I didn't like it and I won't do it again. But I have friends who love the stuff and smoke it all the time. The sad thing is one of my best friends is now addicted to pot and he's starting stealing stuff to support his habit. And that's sad.

    I'm following you in your follower thingy and I'm going to include your blog in my blog list of blogs that are cool.


  6. Anton, I'm sure Elsa would forgaive you if you told her and said sorry. I do feel a bit sad, though, that you couldn't tell us. I'm not judging you. I love you and even if I don't necesarily agree with all your choices, I'll support you through whatever you need.

    I love you lots and lots!

  7. Everyone else said all the important stuff about moderation and experimentation. I just want to add I care. I read your blog every day I can. Never let your self think no one cares.

    Be well, warm thoughts,

  8. We all forgive you. :)

  9. I know Elsa will forgive if you say sorry. That's what best friends are. They understand and accept you be it good or bad.

    Teenagers do what you did. It's in controlling yourself to not overdo it. Your readers care about you.

    Cheer up!

  10. An observation from a different generation (yeah, I'm the old fart here0. As somebody else said, everything in moderation. I myself don't smoke pot because, honestly it just does nothing for me but give me a sore throat. I don't hold it against friends who do though, so long as they're responsible (meaning they aren't out driving high as a kite --- and they always take care of their bills before spending $$ on the weed). I do, however draw the line at weed. All of my friends know (and this might sound like I'm beig a prude - so be it) that I don't suffer the fools who are out of their minds on meth, cocaine, heroine, etc. (There are just some risks that simply aren't worth taking and besides, I get high on Life -- and that's the best high there is.) As for secrets; Anton, another has already said it... To promise to tell everybody everything all of the time is unrealistic. You'll have things going on in your life that you might not choose to share with your friends and family. Guess what; they do to. It's alright. Sure, "lying" to somebody isn't cool ... but don't beat yourself up for an omission just because you didn't feel like telling everyone up front. I would encourage you to try not to smoke real often though. One, it's expensive; two, it's illegal (not that I agree with that *rolls eyes*), and three, well, it goes back to the idea of moderation. But hey, I don't want to come off as the reprimanding adult here so I'll leave it at that. I'm sure you'll make good decisions. In closing, I hope you don't mind comments from somebody who is as old as I am. There's no back-story here; just an interest to share some of my own insights from 46-years of living. Take care and have a great week. -Michael