Saturday, December 4, 2010

Reoccurring Insanity

A week and a half until finals. I dont know where this first semester of college went. I have a lot to do before it is over.

The bulk of the week was relatively uneventful. Early on I got an Android smart phone and I love it. Thursday there was a cool local business-craft fair thing at UNM and I got a really really cool necklace thingy. I decided that besides food and christmas presents I am not allowing myself to buy anything else till a make at least $200, from either my christmas money or from the job I intend on getting in spring.

Yesterday we had a mud hut party though. I haden't been drunk in almost 5 weeks, so i enjoyed drinking a bit. I tried a little spice in addition to the booze and the effect was amazing! Jordan came over about 4 or 5 hours before everyone else and I helped give him a Mohawk. Then we went down to Central (main street Albuquerque) and went to the Flying Star (best restaurants in New Mexico). He also invited this one guy he was supposed to go on a date with to meet us there which kinda annoyed me, but I also wanted to meet him, but he didn't come. There was also a cute waiter there and Jordan almost asked for his number, but I convinced him not to by pointing out all of his flaws so Jordan lost interest... cuz I'm awesome like that!

We then went to Urban Outfitters and ran into Jordan's adorable little hipster-indie lesbian friend and hung out with her for an hour or so... she was really awesome! Jordan annoyed my by referring to me as his date twice while we were with her... He was definitely taunting me with what I cant have, Then we waited around for Jordan's ex-best friends douchey boyfriend to get off work so we could buy ADHD meds from him that are a miracle for studying and paying attention. Then we headed back to my house and met up with our other friends.

I need to get my wisdom teeth out soon too. I'm like a yearish late getting around to it and my piece of shit mom was supposed to get me into the dentist for a consult in november, but that didnt happen and now i wont have time between now and when I go to Utah.

My sleep pattern has been really fucked up lately. I have been alternating between sleeping 3-4 hours and then sleeping 11-12 hours. I HATE it! I have also been having lots of bad dreams. There was that one about my dad drinking again, then there was one where Jordan fell in love with me and I was happy... until I woke up. And then there was an odd one where Kyle (you may remember him as a friend my group had in the spring) came back into the group. I also have been feeling really really fat lately, and I cant think of any healthy ways to solve this problem that I have the motivation for....

I have almost seen Luis a couple times this past week, but I have yet to hang out with him. IDK if I like him or Jordan more, all I know is I dont have a chance with either of them, and Im thankful I'm not as obsessed with them as I was with John. I want them equally as bad though.

I am planning on giving some alcohol to my friend who left the group because she didnt wanna do 'bad things' anymore. Since her boyfriend made her decide that she has been absolutely miserable cuz she has no friends and she wants to smoke and drink again. Not only did her emotionally abusive boy friend make her give up things she likes, but he continues to chew tobacco. So I have decided im going to get her just slightly buzzed, then she will tell her BF and he will get all pissy and hopefully it will expedite their imminent break up. I want him to lose the thing that means most to him cuz he is such an ass, she deserves to be totally alone for what she did to all of us. Then hopefully in a month or so we can maybe even accept her back into the group cautiously, but without the source of her corruption, she could maybe be our friend again. Yes, I am aware I'm an awful selfish person.

So I guess thats about all it.
Loves yas


  1. OK, I give up. What is a mud hut party, and what is spice? Sorry for being so OOOOLLLLDDDD!


    Peace <3

  2. Finals? All over by Christmas? Extraordinary!

    So it's brain ache and long hours with head in knots but it'll all be worth it, eh?

    'Gay boy in bitchy mood sorts out his friends' in a way you've every right: they're your friends!

    ^ thats the link to a post I did about the mud hut. Its basically where me and my friends hang out and get drunk together at my house. Sorry if the photos dont work, they do for some, but not others.
    And spice in a synthetic incense that is a legal alternative to marijuana. The main ingredient in it is domiana, which is a mild, short-term hallucinogenic similar to salvia, but not as potent.

  4. What's going on with you, kid?? You seem sad to the point where you don't mind hurting someone else. You say that you know you're selfish, but, really... the nightmare about your father drinking again should be enough to remind you how nasty the stuff can be.... and now you're going to slip your friend a 'mickey'... Can you explain this way of thinking to me?? 'Selfish' doesn't quite do it, IMHO...

    Just the fact that you're drinking, in the face of all that's happened to you, is mind blowing to me... So, I ask you again... what's going on?? luv, tman<3

  5. Well first off, I am not slipping her anything, we have discussed it, and she wants me to bring her something, so its her decision. Her BF is way too controlling and this is the first time she is going against his oppression, and I am proud to help her with that.
    And I am not my father, I can drink occasionally and with my friends and limit it to that. I dont do it more than once a month and when i do its for purely social reasons.

  6. wouldn't it make more sense for her to get out of the miserable relationship, instead of resorting to booze when she's sad?? I mean, this sort of logic is really not going to help her happiness when the underlying problem continues to stress her out. In fact, by enabling her drinking, you're essentially endorsing it. I would be a little careful with this, Anton. She needs positive support- something to raise her self esteem. Much more important than anesthesia for her unresolved problem. luv, tman<3

  7. The thing is that she isnt sad. She is being absolutely manipulated by this douche bag and everyone but her sees it, even her mom says stuff to her. The only thing she was upset about was the fact that she hasnt had a drink in 5 months. I am helping her with that while simultaneously undermining her emotionally abusive boyfriends hold over her that caused her to turn her back on her friends and the life style she enjoyed.