I'm Happy... Even if This Post Isn't

People are always preaching their philosophies and ideas like they are god. This is a problem I have with many people; my godmother, any devoutly religious person, my friend Jordan and the person I consider to be one of my closest mentors, Robert Pruitt. Its not something I'd have a problem with except that all of those people speak it like it is scientific fact. I know I do it too on occasion... but it is not something I am all that tolerant of.
People are subconsciously selfish, and pretending that every action they take is for the betterment of society is bull shit. Hell, even the Dalia Lama has his moments of weakness...
Not everyone is going to be changed by these philosophies because the number of them that there are just makes life confusing, especially when most people will defend them to the death. Its time for people to start tearing down their god complexes and allow others to make decisions for themselves.
But that's idealistic. No ones going to do that, not even me... I just wanted to bitch about it, cuz bitching about things is one of my better talents.
So cuz things aren't gonna change in this case, one philosophy I have picked up from one of my mentors that I have been applying to my life more and more is "Its easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission" It helps me be me.

Any who... I saw Inception today which was an exceptionally amazing movie and really put into perspective the nature of reality and demonstrated philosophies out of the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Jordan and I often theorise about... well everything, but one of our favorites is anything to do with multiple universes and how dreams, alcohol and weed are ways to access different universes than the one that humanity experiences the majority of the time. The different levels of dreams and the concept of limbo talked about in the movie kinda gave me some food for thought concerning reality and dreams and different universes. It was really fascinating and everyone should go see it.

I have been writing poetry lately. I'm not very good at it, mostly because i give up half way through out of boredom and rush it. This is one I wrote on my plane ride from hell. Its really emo, and keep in mind I wasn't happy when I wrote it. Its called End the Air Flow... =/

Suffocate me
Oppress me
Release me
I wont stop you
I cant stop you

Strangle me
Drown me
Gas me

Put that pillow over my face
Put your hands around my neck
Put me in my place

Strangle me
Drown me
Gas me

Let the water flow in
100 feet under the surface
Let me go

Strangle me
Drown me
Gas me

Close the door
Start the engine
Just give me that endless sleep

Strangle me
Drown me
Gas me

Suffocate me
Oppress me
Release me
I wont stop you
I cant stop you

So yeah... that was happy. And not very good, but I thought I might aw well share it.

I have been feeling like I'm losing a lot of people who are close to me. They are either moving or changing into things I don't like/don't know how to deal with in a way which will keep us close. That's another reason I'm looking forward to college. 29,000 new people to meet and get to know.

I am also under the impression my parents are somewhat responding to my ultimatum I gave them of "clean up or I'm leaving." They have supposedly dried up and are starting counseling. I know they will want me to go too... which I'm hesitant about cuz I'd only want personal therapy, and I have nothing nice to say about them in an environment like that. It would be a lot of arguing and little progress.
~Anton